I’ve just been inspired by a recent Lifehacker post, using Rainmeter and a few mods such as RocketDock.  I’ve had a go myself and created my Dark Angel desktop which uses mainly the Enigma Skins and a backdrop found on google from here.

Here it is – I hope you like it.

HG

Habits are hard to break, but easy to form unknowingly. The problem with this is that they can also lead to addiction and obsession and this isn’t a good thing. We all have habits of one form or another, whether it’s getting ready in a order in the morning or the morning tea or coffee and some can be harmless enough while others can be deadly to body or mind. Strangley enough it’s the ones that affect the mind that can be more dangerous as then can cause stress, angst and in extreme cases possibly mental illness. There have been cases where people have died because of another’s obsessions.

Back to the point however, I’m trying to form some good or better habits which is harder than you’d think. I’m definitely lazy, there’s a habit which crept in whilst I wasn’t looking, I also lack motivation although it could simply be an extended form of procrastination. Possbily I’m simply trying to do too much which then gets me in a spin as I can’t then find the time in the day to do all the things I want to do. The issue really is that I’ve never really known what I wanted to do – So I try a bit of everything, it works out sometimes but it usually turns out that I could be fairly good at it if I wasn’t already flitting to the next thing like dog with a skipload of toys dumped on it.

Deep down I wonder that my own personal fear of becoming obsessed with anything has meant that I haven’t dedicated to anything in particular. My own brand of that fear come for watching two loved one die from addiction, it isn’t pretty and to be frank it scares the hell out of me. It’s possible that it could be really a mask for the fact I haven’t committed to anything in particular and I’m unsure whether it’s because I haven’t found the real ‘me’ yet or if I’m just scared. Awful thing to admit really – do you really know yourself? where’s the you in all of this? where do you begin and the expectation of family, friends, percieved expectations of others and peer pressure finish? I think that one thing I can say for sure is that I can be very introspective with bouts of wild extrovertedness – though that may only be the red wine.

I have four aims:

• To be calmer and less frustrated
• To be more active and get fit again
• To be more social and keep in touch with friends and family
• To be ‘Myself’ regardless of the cost

That last one is the one I worry about, I can be pretty outspoken, rude and nasty sometimes and frankly I wonder what effect letting that out will have, maybe it’s just a case of relaxing the censor in my head a little.

In addition I’m adding to this site a new blog which is a little less ranty and geeky and is dedicated to my family. To Laura who keeps me sane and drives me mad, to Reuben who is the most caring and thoughtful little lad I’ve ever met and to Ethan, a joyful bundle of chaos. I love you all very much and this site will be for you. The site is based at www.hardgeek.co.uk/lightside and a link will appear on this page shortly.